A former inmate shares her surprising experiences with intimacy behind bars
Sheffield: When I heard about Linda De Sousa Abreu, the prison officer who got caught having sex with an inmate, I wasn’t shocked. I’ve been there myself, serving four months in 2022. I even had a brief fling with a fellow inmate. It’s a wild world behind bars, and I want to share my story to shed some light on what really goes on.
My little “relationship” with Adele was so out of character for me. I’m not a lesbian, but prison changes you. You lose touch with who you are and become just a number. With no family or friends around, you start craving human connection. And let’s be real, sex is a big part of feeling human.
In prison, you’re always being watched. There are cameras everywhere, and you can’t even comfort someone when they’re upset. The lack of human touch is isolating. You start to miss the simplest things, like the smell of someone else or just being close to another person.
My past relationships were with charming, successful guys. But in prison, I found myself drawn to Adele, who was tough and had a unique style. After a few months, I was suddenly interested in her in a way I never expected. It all started with a note I passed her, and before I knew it, we were sneaking into her cell for a quick encounter. It was risky and thrilling, but it made me feel alive, even if just for a moment.
I ended up in prison for lying about who was driving after getting speeding tickets. I was sentenced to 16 months but only served four. It was a chaotic time in my life, and I knew I had to face the consequences.
When I arrived at prison, I was terrified. I was transported in a van that felt like a mobile jail. The first blow to my dignity was asking a male officer for sanitary products. The conditions were rough, and I quickly learned that prison life was nothing like I imagined.
My time there was filled with boredom and frustration. I saw some pretty awful things, like staff mistreating inmates. It was the staff, not the other prisoners, that I found most intimidating. I reported an incident anonymously, but nothing came of it. It was a scary place, and I felt for the women around me, many of whom had serious issues.
Despite the fear, I understood why some women sought comfort in brief relationships. It’s a way to cope with the harsh reality of prison life. I learned that many women “go gay for the stay,” and it’s a common way to find some relief in a tough environment.
Unlike many inmates, I had a stable upbringing. I grew up in Sheffield with loving parents and went to a good school. But life took a turn, and I found myself in a chaotic situation that led to my imprisonment. I realized I had to take responsibility for my actions.
My experience in prison opened my eyes to the inhumane treatment of women. I wanted to make a difference, so I decided to focus on helping adolescents improve their mental health and avoid the prison system altogether. I’ve been working on a program that uses exercise to help young people, and it’s been rewarding.
Recently, I was honored to become a Churchill Fellow, which allows me to travel and learn from others. It’s given me a sense of purpose that I’ve been missing. I turned 40 recently, and while I can’t change my past, I’m determined to help others have a better future.
As told to Susanna Galton
*Name has been changed to protect identity
For more information about Scarlett Roberts’s work for the Churchill Fellowship see churchillfellowship.org
